Short and (Sweet?)

This week’s post will be short and sweet so your friendly bartender can stop and smell the roses. No, not from a glass of Four Roses whiskey (how dare you hold such a thought!) it’s just that he wants to kick back and take the week off. How-ever… just so you haven’t stopped by for nothing and climbed up onto your stool to an empty glass, I’m pouring this little “shot” before you move on…

Guys, if you insist on wearing a baseball cap as you drink your way through Barland, and insist on wearing that baseball cap in reverse, I insist you adhere to this brand new rule called the “age cap”. That’s right, an age appropriate cut-off that bans such a statement. Which is 39! For nothing I assure you looks more ridiculous than a man who’s about to turn 40, a man quickly entering that first of the really grown-up decades, clinging to a prop more at home on the head of Spanky. (See Our Gang!) It’s like a woman leaving the house with a bow and Shirley Temple curls. It’s just not done. I mean we’re already depicted on every new sit-com as frat boys without a clue, the missing link between ape and the Homo Sapiens, but at least those guys are somewhere in their 20’s and 30’s. Under the “cut-off”. With still some time to mature and turn their hats around. But if the shelves of your fridge are stocked with Metamucil and both of your knees have been scoped and your taking Viagra, please, dude, straighten your fucking lid. You look like an idiot.

And why, you may ask, is your friendly bartender going on like this? Because if five or six guys belly up to the bar and one of them has on a baseball cap in reverse, and he’s over the “cut-off”, he’s the guy who will act like a drunken ninth grader. As one did last week!

Hope you enjoyed your shot and I’ll see you next week-end.

PS: A question just came to mind that flirts with some logic. And it’s this. If a guy wears a suit and tie with a turned around baseball cap, which I’ve actually seen, then why does he not when actually playing baseball wear instead of a cap a felt homburg? Doesn’t that make sense?

(I know, I know, no wonder I flunked Logic.)

29 Responses to “Short and (Sweet?)”

  1. 1 Ken October 22, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Scrib: You happened to have targeted one of my pet peeves. It folds into my larger peeve. The men who wear their caps indoors while eating or drinking. I think this is no-class and slobbish. But then again, so is so much of America today.

    I would like to make it a law that any man who sits down and eats in a public place wearing a cap (or hat of any kind) can have that hat knocked off his head by any adult without any legal recourse. We need to restore certain dress standards.

    As for the backward baseball cap look itself. It is old. It is lame. Any boy over fifteen who still does this looks clueless. The only exception of course, no matter what your age, is if you are catching today’s game.

    The 40s the first of the real grown-up decades? Beg to differ. I managed two big political campaigns and got married, and was appointed to a big job in state government before I was 40. And I was something of a late bloomer.

    Good post. As you can see, this topic does get my blood up.

  2. 2 Jennifer October 22, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    LOL! I can’t remember where I saw it this week, but it was someone saying that you can determine the assholiness level of a person by the angle and position of their baseball cap. 🙂 I had to agree.

    I have nothing against the occasional baseball cap, and think they can look good on men of many ages, but it’s how and where they choose to wear it.

  3. 3 scribbler50 October 22, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    Ken: As for begging to differ,.. of course we get things done in our 20’s and 30’s (you’re proof of that fact), I was referring more to age as opposed to accomplishment. As in “middle age”, the one that comes before “old age”.
    And not for nothin’, my friend, I’d love to have some film of you knocking guys’ hats off. Call it “Ken The Enforcer!”

    Jennifer: Love the word “assholiness”, and I have nothing against baseball hats either. As you say, it’s all about angle and position, the point of my rant. Geez, I wonder if somewhere down the road we’ll be wearing football helmets???

  4. 4 jc October 22, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Yup. It’s the textbook definition of asshat.

  5. 6 Chris October 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    “But if the shelves of your fridge are stocked with Metamucil and both of your knees have been scoped and your taking Viagra, please, dude, straighten your fucking lid.”

    LMAO I think you could do stand up if you tried.

  6. 7 scribbler50 October 23, 2011 at 11:26 pm

    Chris: Thanks, man, but nah… I’m better at sit-down.

  7. 8 Irishirritant October 24, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    My Mother of 7 men has a quick hat removal technique…she approaches the guest and with a quick upward move back hands the hat straight up in the air and sternly says “Take your hat off in my house!”
    As far as the ass hat style…the adjustable ones with the plastic make it exponentially ridicules. Thanks for the shot…ahhhh, gotta go.

  8. 9 Anonymoustache October 24, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Chris already quoted my favorite line from the post….funny stuff, bro! And, for good measure, when I catch a bit of the world series next time I’m gonna imagine all those guys playing in felt homburgs….the pitcher with chalk stains on the brim of his homburg, the inevitable slob on every team that has ten years worth of sweat stains on his homburg…..I think this may finally make baseball entertaining….

  9. 10 scribbler50 October 24, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Irish: To paraphrase the late Lewis Grizzard… You must be a son of a gun because your mom to me sounds like a real pistol! And I mean that respectfully. Glad you enjoyed the “shot”, man.

    Anonymoustache: Hah! Now THAT would be a sight, Sir, and I especially like the two examples you sighted. Chalk and Sweat. So then how about three outfielders with a tinted Pince-Nez attached to the brim??? Just sayin’.
    Thanks, Bro.

  10. 11 everythinginbetween October 24, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Like it – no, LOVE it. I am trying to upgrade my husband’s wardrobe and while he dresses wonderfully for work he insists on baseball caps, sports-oriented t-shirts and sweat shirts and ripped jeans otherwise. It drives me CRAZY.

  11. 12 scribbler50 October 24, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Everythinginbetween: Good luck with the upgrade, some “habits” die hard.
    Thanks for the comment.

  12. 13 blue girl October 25, 2011 at 8:21 am

    I’m going to admit this right out in public!

    I find guys who wear baseball caps backwards very sexy.

  13. 14 scribbler50 October 25, 2011 at 9:43 am

    blue girl: Okay, my friend, I like you so I’m going to tread lightly here.

    Plain and simple, and when you really stop to think about it, don’t you feel that a grown man who… ummmm…in other words… technically speaking… isn’t that look, when it’s all said and done, more of a statement in .. ahhh… hmmm… damn!…okay, let me put it this way… haven’t you found that most of these guys are really just trying to… er-ah…{Sigh}…

    Oh well, I tried. Whatever floats your boat, pal o’ mine! 🙂

  14. 15 physiobabe October 25, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Have to agree with Blue Gal, guys in reverse baseball caps are sexy as hell especially if their hair is a bit long, just grazing the collar. Yum.

    Ciao, Scrib, have a good week.

  15. 16 scribbler50 October 25, 2011 at 9:48 am

    physiobabe: See my comment to Blue Girl, who am I to question what a woman find’s sexy? Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to let my hair grow!

    Ciao, “Babe”, you have a good week too.

  16. 17 blue girl October 25, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    “and when you really stop to think about it”

    Who wants to think about it? We just want to enjoy it.

  17. 18 physiobabe October 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Indeed, Blue Gal, indeed.

  18. 19 scribbler50 October 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    Blue Girl & physiobabe: In keeping with the baseball theme… I feel like I’m caught in a rundown and one of you tagged me out. Game over! 🙂

  19. 21 Hornet October 26, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Ummm…As an occasional baseball cap wearer in the over-40 demo, I had a few takes I was going to offer on this topic but, given the last few comments, maybe I’ll just go with this: “I wear my cap backwards when the situation calls for it!”

  20. 22 scribbler50 October 27, 2011 at 8:45 am

    Hornet: And may those “situations”, whatever those situations are, prove fruitful. Sorry if I offended, man, just callin’ ’em as I see ’em based on what I’ve seen.
    All the best…

  21. 23 Hornet October 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Srib….to be clear, I was riffing off physiobabe and bluegal’s views on cap wearing! PS — Just came up with this emoticon of a guy wearing his ballcap backwards:


  22. 24 scribbler50 October 27, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    Hornet: Oh good, now I have to look at that “look” on my Blog???
    (Just kidding, very clever.)

  23. 25 blue girl October 28, 2011 at 7:48 am

    “Oh good, now I have to look at that “look” on my Blog???”

    What are you complaining about, Scrib? Hornet just upped the sexiness of your blog! 🙂

  24. 26 Pieter B November 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    I’ve always loved this image

    And I think you’ve done the hairstyle thing already, so I’ll just note that a guy with salt & pepper hair wearing it in a fauxhawk looks really lame.

  25. 27 scribbler50 November 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    Pieter: That’s hilarious! It’s like tying a trench coat around your neck (like some people do with their sweaters) during a rainstorm.
    Thanks for that.

  26. 28 Pieter B November 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    And then there’s the classic mug shot

  27. 29 scribbler50 November 2, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    Pieter B: Game – Set – Match!!!

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