This week’s post will be short and sweet so your friendly bartender can stop and smell the roses. No, not from a glass of Four Roses whiskey (how dare you hold such a thought!) it’s just that he wants to kick back and take the week off. How-ever… just so you haven’t stopped by for nothing and climbed up onto your stool to an empty glass, I’m pouring this little “shot” before you move on…
Guys, if you insist on wearing a baseball cap as you drink your way through Barland, and insist on wearing that baseball cap in reverse, I insist you adhere to this brand new rule called the “age cap”. That’s right, an age appropriate cut-off that bans such a statement. Which is 39! For nothing I assure you looks more ridiculous than a man who’s about to turn 40, a man quickly entering that first of the really grown-up decades, clinging to a prop more at home on the head of Spanky. (See Our Gang!) It’s like a woman leaving the house with a bow and Shirley Temple curls. It’s just not done. I mean we’re already depicted on every new sit-com as frat boys without a clue, the missing link between ape and the Homo Sapiens, but at least those guys are somewhere in their 20’s and 30’s. Under the “cut-off”. With still some time to mature and turn their hats around. But if the shelves of your fridge are stocked with Metamucil and both of your knees have been scoped and your taking Viagra, please, dude, straighten your fucking lid. You look like an idiot.
And why, you may ask, is your friendly bartender going on like this? Because if five or six guys belly up to the bar and one of them has on a baseball cap in reverse, and he’s over the “cut-off”, he’s the guy who will act like a drunken ninth grader. As one did last week!
Hope you enjoyed your shot and I’ll see you next week-end.
PS: A question just came to mind that flirts with some logic. And it’s this. If a guy wears a suit and tie with a turned around baseball cap, which I’ve actually seen, then why does he not when actually playing baseball wear instead of a cap a felt homburg? Doesn’t that make sense?
(I know, I know, no wonder I flunked Logic.)