Spring Forward… Fall Back!

The weather had broken in New York City and the sun seemed to do its shining both outside and in, within people’s hearts. Everything felt alive again with a sense of hope and renewal, winter’s cold, bony grip a thing of the past. A sunny day can do that, ya’ know, especially in New York City, put a bounce in everyone’s step as they go happily turning the page to what lies ahead. I know that’s what this young woman was feeling sitting in our bar last week, ready to turn the page to the chapter “Romance”. She was smiling, she was anxious, she was bubbling with anticipation, all of which caught the discerning eye of our waitress.

“I think that woman on table four is waiting for a blind date,” she said to the bartender, “so she just wants a Diet Coke until he arrives. And a squeeze of lemon.” (How prophetic that squeeze of lemon would turn out to be.)

“How do you know,” asked the bartender, the guy who works our day shift, “did she actually tell you she was waiting for a blind date?” He then filled a glass with Diet and squeezed in a lemon.

“Not exactly, but that’s what I’m getting,” said the waitress, picking up the glass, “I think it’s one of those computer hook-up kind of things. I’ll find out.”  Then she took the drink to the table and started a conversation. It was slow on the floor at the time of this event, that lull between lunch and dinner, so the waitress had plenty of time to go play detective. At which she’s an expert.

“Yup,” she said, returning to the bar, “they met through an online dating service and this is going to be their first ever face to face meeting. Isn’t that exciting? She said she’d never done this before so I wished her luck and let her get back to her texting. I think she’s keeping a girlfriend apprised of the progress.”

The date was scheduled for three o’clock sharp, it was now almost three thirty, not what you’d call a good first impression for the guy here. But hey, maybe he’d stopped for a cocktail first to build up a little courage, unlike our lady in waiting who was just having Coke. Speaking of which, her glass was almost empty so the waitress reappeared.

“Would you like another Diet Coke, Miss,” she said as she approached the table, “your friend must’ve gotten hung up or stuck on the subway.”

“Yeah,” said the woman, starting to show some embarrassment. “But maybe this time I’ll switch to a Pinot Grigio.” And off went the waitress.

Now I won’t go into this woman’s appearance with any kind of untoward detail, but from what I gathered from the waitress she wasn’t that attractive. By “typical” standards that is. She was a bit overweight, the waitress had said, her face was kinda “Plain Jane”, and her overall look was what you might call just average. Not a looker. But that shouldn’t have been a problem in this case, they’d already met online, and you usually exchange some photos before the next level. Am I right? These aren’t what you’d call actual blind blind dates.

So finally, at three forty five her fella showed up (no great shakes himself I’m told), and started to make his way down the four outside stairs. See, we’re one of those walk-down New York bars where the place is below sidewalk level, and as you make your way down the stairs you can see the whole room. A fronting of old paned windows affords you that luxury. So when this guy hit the bottom stair of the four where he stopped to survey the proceedings, a room where only one customer occupied a table, he saw his potential mate which stopped him in his tracks. He then stared at the woman for what seemed an eternity, deciding what he should do, then the bastard turned on his heels and ran up the stairs. Left her cold! And there sat this poor, young woman to take all that in. It was beyond unbelievable.

In fact, this was so fucking bad on so many levels my anger prevents me from trying to make any sense of it, except to say this. No matter this man’s initial reaction he at least could’ve come in the bar and had a conversation with this woman. This human being with feelings, a mind and a heart! Because maybe he then would’ve soared beyond whatever was lacking in her looks (her looks to his way of thinking, of course), and found in this person something that is far more valuable. Something like intelligence, charm, warmth and wit… qualities heretofore not on his faulty radar. Then, if the chemistry still wasn’t there after that, after he’d actually met her, he could at least have the chance to escort this woman out the door. That way he’d not only preserve her dignity rather than grind it to bits, but get to act like a man instead of a louse. For to cause this woman such stark humiliation in front of the whole staff, not to mention her having to share this with the friend she’d been texting, is beyond any kind of heartlessness I’ve seen yet in Barland. It was just plain rotten.

And I swear to God as I type these words, not to sound like some shining knight but merely a fellow human being with a freaking heart, if I’d been working the bar at the time and it was clear she knew I’d seen that entire scenario… but only then…  I’d’ve walked right over to her table and said, “Thank God that idiot left, miss, you obviously deserve all that that bastard is lacking. Which is class and decency. Now come up to the bar and let me buy you a drink.” It’s the least I could’ve done, for God sakes, as this woman will live with that moment for the rest of her life. And it’s just not right.

Yeah, spring had arrived in New York City with one big burst of glory, but for the woman on table four winter had returned. In one cold blast

See ya’ next week-end, dear reader, with I hope better news…

24 Responses to “Spring Forward… Fall Back!”

  1. 1 Paleoprof March 19, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    absolutely vile you should be able to sit and have a drink with darn near anyone. Especially someone you’ve corresponded with. Just terrible.

  2. 2 Uncle Vinny March 19, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Lemon indeed. I hope Summer is kinder to that poor lass.

  3. 3 chris March 19, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    Really though Scrib anyone who makes a date and doesn’t show up even close to on time and then does that. The man did her the favor by turning and running because obviously he is a true prick. That is what I’ve had told her I mean really if he would be like that the first time what would he be like in other situations later down the road.

    But then just to play devils advocate a little bit maybe he got nervous, maybe he doesn’t do well with women in person which is why he was online to begin with? Maybe he just got scared and his flight instinct kicked in? Yeah your right hes probably just a prick but you never can tell. Good story as always though Scrib have a good week.


  4. 4 Anonymoustache March 20, 2011 at 8:22 am

    Wow. Any which way you cut it, that is, at the very least, cowardice. I guess superficial is now where once chivalrous used to be…

  5. 5 scribbler50 March 20, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    paleoprof: Precisely, they’ve already had a correspondence so why ignore that. A live conversation is not a “commitment”!

    Uncle Vinny: Yes, may the summer bring lemonade!

    chris: Good points all but I tend to think he ran for the reason I stated… live didn’t match online. And a coward is a coward whatever the reason.
    Have a good week as well.

    Anonymoustache: Agreed! Chivalry might be as rare as the word itself.

  6. 6 Jennifer March 20, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    What a dick! And of course, telling her good riddance, you don’t want to waste your time with this person, would have done no good.

    Sometimes I hate people… but then I know, for every dick, there are wonderful examples of the best, you being one… my husband being one, most people I’ve had the pleasure to meet in the blogosphere being one… or… uh… many… my dogs being one and two… I only trust that this woman was denied a train wreck and her smooth ride is around the corner. 🙂


  7. 7 scribbler50 March 20, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    Jennifer: Thank you for that, my friend, well put. And just for the record, you’re one of the good ones out there too. 🙂

  8. 8 Pharm Sci Grad March 20, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    That’s so distasteful as to be classless. I too can’t express the disgust well in words, so I’ll say that I hear you and agree 100%. What a louse.

    I hope next week is better too! Take care!

  9. 9 Brenda March 20, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Well, you’ve got me sitting in her chair, Scrib, sipping the Diet Coke and chewing on the ice cubes. God, what a detestable p@#!$! but what a brilliant post. In the meantime, he’ll get his. They also do.

  10. 10 Brenda March 20, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    Sorry. I meant, “they always do.” I was so irate after reading the post, I just hit POST!

  11. 11 scribbler50 March 20, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    Pharm Sci Grad: Yes, there are no words, but I’ll take your “louse”.
    Thanks, and here’s to a better week!

    Brenda: You said it, my friend, he’s a despicable p@#!$!… whatever the f%$!+@ that means!
    Always good to hear from you, Brenda, and thanks for the kind words.

  12. 12 JSaw March 21, 2011 at 11:08 am

    That sh*t makes me so mad! Having played “Will” for many a “Grace” in this fair city, I’ve seen the effects of this kind of d*ck-headedness first hand. No matter how great your self esteem is, it’s hard to recover from something like you described.

    Lately, “manning up” seems to encompass treating women badly.

    I don’t want to paint this too broad brush here. Certainly there are straight guys out there who are mensches, and definitely gay guys who are as much of an a**hole as the “man” in your story.

    But there is nothing more attractive than a person who has a personality that outshines their looks. And no matter how attractive someone is, if they are an awful human being, there’s no covering that up in the long term.

    I hope that guy ends being one of those NYC stories where he dies alone, with piles of newspapers cluttering his apartment and no-one knows for 3 weeks until the smell seeps out from under the door. You know, the stories where neighbors say “We never noticed him.”

    Sorry for the rant Scrib. Great post though.

  13. 13 scribbler50 March 21, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    JSaw: Hey, man, no apology necessary, your “rant” is totally justified and you said it well. The anger I felt when I heard about this was only outweighed by my utter sympathy for this woman. Don’t know whether he’ll end up alone but I know he’s ordered a healthy dose of bad karma.


  14. 14 mvpalex March 22, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    I heard you left with her at the end of your shift!

  15. 15 d-a-p March 22, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    everyone who commented before me used all the adjectives i was going to use to describe this loser…
    i only hope someday this lady comes back into your bar with a real date,and has a great time…but then as you know i love “real” happy endings…
    thanks as always for a great read…

  16. 16 scribbler50 March 22, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    mvp alex: Maybe you should change your name from Alex to Aleck, as in “Smart Aleck”! 🙂

    d-a-p: I’m with ya’, old friend, I’m with ya’… that would be the perfect ending.

  17. 17 blue girl March 22, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    Oh my God, that is horrible! I second Brenda’s p@#!$! Actually, I’ll third it too: p@#!$!

    That poor lady. What a kick in the head.

  18. 18 scribbler50 March 23, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Blue Girl: And I fourth it!
    Thanks for stopping by.

  19. 19 physiobabe March 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    No one should be exposed to such vile behavior.

  20. 20 scribbler50 March 23, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    physiobabe: Amen!

    And welcome back.

  21. 21 tideliar March 23, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    What an asshole.DFS. She is going to carry that with her for years. What a total tosser. I hope he ran out under a bus.

    On a similar vein (in?), my grandfather, after my grandmother died in 1968, went on blind dates. He told his dates they should meet under the clock at Picadilly station wearing a white carnation. He’d get there early and keep his carnation in his pocket so he could scope out his date without her knowing he ws there. If wasn’t impressed he’d get back on the train.

    Bit of a dick move there.

  22. 22 scribbler50 March 23, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    tideliar: Clever old fox but yeah, a dick move just the same.
    Thanks for sharing it.

  23. 23 Scicurious April 5, 2011 at 11:30 am

    Sorry I’m late Scrib, but OH that poor girl!!! I wish I could have been there to buy her a drink and tell her what a jerk that guy is. 😦

  24. 24 scribbler50 April 5, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Scicurious: Better late than never, thanks for your comment, Sci. And your proper sentiment!

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